Akatsuki Camping
by DragonSummoner888
Summary: The infamous, horrible, and dreaded Akatsuki... Have been captured and must now go CAMPING!  Slight AU, slight shonen-ai, and some PaiKon.
1. Akatsuki for Breakfast

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters and elements.

HELLO ONE AND ALL!

Currently, The person typing is QueenOfFanFicWorldLoveGunner.

Quickly posting all my sissies stories up for her. So I can get them off MY THANG. XD

Let me cater 2 u, cuz babeh dis is ur day, ur all I wan in a man, you hold my life in yo' handz~

XD My sissy's old 'Akatsuki Camping' story we both kept forgetting about. Because I just had to make her a Akatard like me. XD

SO WIF OUT FURTHER AHDOO-DOO~ Akatsuki Camping by DragonSummoner888!

-**Chapter one: Akatsuki for Breakfast**-

One morning Deidara woke up, he growled rolling out of bed, he got up, got dressed, and went outside into the Akatsuki Kitchen and saw Sasori sitting at the table reading a paper,

"Ugh! Sasori-No-Danna why didn't you wake me up! hng!" He whined,

"Because, dear Deidara. I would like just one morning where your not complaining." He replied

"My COMPLAINING!" Deidara screamed

This resulted in him wakeing up the rest of the Akatsuki. But Kisame and Itachi were the only ones who bothered to stumble out of their bedrooms. But of course Tobi came in skipping. But anyway-

Kisame groaned "What's all the yelling about?"

But Itachi quickly replied for him: " Kisame, you know this is their daily argument agenda,"

"Ahhh, yes, the 'agenda' " Kisame grinned,

"What was that Uchiha?" Deidara yelled,

Tobi Itachi and Kisame simply ignored him and sat down at the table.

"Deidara-Sempai!" Tobi cooed,

"Yes Tobi? hn," Deidara growled at him sitting down also,

"What'er we haveing for breakfast?"

"How should I know?"

"Well, Konan's still asleep and your the closest thing to a girl in this room," Tobi replied,

Deidara growled once again and they all sat in silence for a few minutes, but then the rest of the Akatsuki dragged themselfs out of their rooms and to sit at the table,

"Konan what's for breakfast?" Tobi asked

"... Pancakes?"

"Yay! Pancakes!" Tobi jumped up and down in his seat,

After Kakuzu was forced to make the pancakes, Pain said "I have a announcement everyone,"

"Nobody in hell cares," Hidan grumbled stuffing the pancakes in his mouth,

"It's a mission the Hokage is sending us on,"

"What does that bimbo want now? hng," Deidara growled,

"Lady Tsunade wishes for us to go into the woods to make sure all the animals arn't getting into trouble, mainly the concern is the fact that there was a large fight in the woods and she's worried the wildlifes habitat might have been damaged by the scuffle,"

"She allowed a fight to get so close?" Sasori asked looking up from his paper for the first time,

"Actually, It was Naruto and Sasuke-Kun having another lovers querill," Itachi explained,

"None the less, she wants us to stay a month deep in the woods," Pain finished,

"So then that means a camping trip!" Tobi gleed,

"Shiiiit," Hidan whined,

"Shut up, no appliences, no spending money, not even sewage bills!" Kakuzu started getting excited,

-Later

They packed up everything they'd need and headed for the destination, "WAHOOOOO! camping trip!" Tobi yelled,

Deidara kicked him (in the head) "Shut up Tobi! hn, your making too much noise!"

"Hmmmm, but Deidara-Sempai yells too,"

"He's got a point," Sasori chuckled walking past the two, he was inside Hiruko and was therefore creeping past them,

Deidara stared after Sasori, turning three shades of red in anger,

"We're almost there everyone, keep a look out, and Tobi, do stop yelling so much, we want the animals to be near us," Pain announced

"Woukays Leader-Sama,"

They got there and set up camp, this involved much of Hidan's curseing, some bleeding injuries and at least three explosions, but by sunset they had everything set up.

"Alright, now I want us all to get up early tomarrow so let's turn in for the night,"

Everyone shrugged (and some limped) into their tents to sleep/read the night away,

-The next day

"Yaaaaaaaaawn," Kisame worked his way of the the tent that was way too small for him AND Itachi to have, he looked out at the area as Itachi came out also,

"...Well this doesn't seem too good," Itachi said matter-of-factly

After them was Sasori, Kakuzu and Pain, all leaving their partners inside to keep sleeping, they looked out infront of them and the entire lot they'd set up was covored with foxes and racoons, eating their supplies, the little animals quickly ran away leaveing the group there,

Tobi came out just as they're leaveing, "Ohmygosh it's the bijuu! I'll get them!" Tobi ran out and began chaseing the little animals in vain. His screeching and cheers brought Deidara out of his tent,

"... Okay, I'm just going to say now, HIDAN was in charge of the food, hnn,"

"Hi-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

-**End Chapter**-

XD ROFL She's ridiculous.

Go ahead and tell her if you don't like it, but don't flame plz, she's sensitive and always complains to _me._

I wrote the last bit because she didn't know how to end it and I like to make retarded jokes. XD

ENJOY!


	2. Getting your BEARings

Enjoy~

Beta'd by QueenOfFanFicWorldLoveGunner

-**Chapter two: Getting your BEARings**-

"Now Hidan," Pain said, looking down at the still half-asleep immortal, "since your the one that got all the food eaten, you will be the one to gather supplys to get more,"

"And hurrrry!" Konan whined, talking for the first time in the whole trip and clutching her empty stomach,

"Fine, fine, ya' dickwads, I'll go get the food," He said slowly wakeing up.

"Now while Hidan is getting the food, Deidara and Sasori can go get the water, as me and Konan will go get Tobi. Itachi, Kisame and Kakuzu can stay here and be bodyguards.

"How come Uchiha gets to sit here and do nothing! hng?" Deidara yelled

"Stop whineing" Sasori said, ten times past annoyed,

"Ugh, asswads, I'll get the food now." Hidan said,

"Ok then Pain lets go get Tobi!" Konan sounded giddily grabbing Pain's hand, he jumped and turned three shades of red as they left.

"...Anyway, come on Brat lets go get the water." Sasori said

"But Sasori-No-Danna!"

"No but's now go." Sasori growled at him,

"fine, ughn," Deidara mumbled.

Everyone left the area leaving the last team, "I guess that's our que Kisame," Itachi said,

"Allllright," Kisame groaned, they walked to the edge of the lot and just stood there,

Kakuzu sat there, "I guess I'll man the money then,"

-Later

Hidan wandered around, not really knowing where any food was, he never really went to the ninja academy, just got really awsome jutsu and stole a headband, cause Hotsprings wasn't really the best ninja nation.

He looked around curseing under his breath, a little russleing got his attention, "What the hell?" He looked behind him into some bushes, "...OHMYJASHIN IT'S A BLOODY BEAR!" He roared, realizeing he didn't have any of his weapons because he was still in pajama pants and nothing else "KAKUZU! DO SOMETHING! OHMYJASHIN! OHMYJASHIIN!" He ran around (not being practiced in fighting without his sythe or sword) "Then he could've sworn the bear laughed, "...Zet-SUUUUUUUU!" He yelled, "I knew there were no green bears in Konoha!"

"Sure didn't sound like it," The white side laughed again as the black just shrugged and ignored the two,

"Oh screw you! I'm just going back!" He said stomping in the direction he came,

"We got fish anyway, we heard the commotion," Zetsu was of course always a few yards away from the camp site and at the Akatsuki cave

-Back at Camp

"OHMYGOD!" Konan ran over to the heaping net of fish Hidan had carried back (Zetsu stayed a few yards away like always) Konan grabbed a fish and held it over the fire to cook,

"Deidara?" Itachi looked at the sulking blonde, "Why is your hair wet?"

"Cause Sasori dumped the bucket of water on my head," He growled, crossing his arms sitting closest to the fire,

"I thought you were a giagantic bumble bee," Sasori said smirking,

Tobi had sat infront of the fire, "It's getting dark already!"

"Very good deduction Tobi, hng" Deidara growled,

"But it really is," Pain said, "We can all turn in now, get a good nights sleep everyone," He said, dragging Konan back into their tent as she gobbled down her last three fish at once,

-**End Chapter**-

Short and cutted, eh, silly sissy.

She's a SasoDei tard! JUZ LIKE HER BIG SISSY! HOW SWEET!

Or, well, maybe it's just that she feels the need to whore-out Deidara. eh, XD


	3. Examining the Animals

Disclaimer: Me and my sister do not own Naruto or anything related to it,

WEEEEEE~~~

Okay, next chapter,

-**Chapter three: Examining the Animals**-

"Good morning everyone," Pain greeted everyone

"We hate you," Most of them said in union

"Okay, then," He looked at them all, " today, we need to get started examineing the animals." loud groans from the crowd. "Sasori, Deidara and Tobi can watch the birds.

"HIIIIII BIRDYS!" Tobi yelled at the sky,

"Ugh, Tobi again? hng," Deidara groaned,

"Shut up brat, your worse them Tobi himself,"

"SHUT UP SASORI!" Sasori had already started towards the forest to find some birds,

"S-Sasori! get back here!"

"Yay! birdys are fun!" Tobi skipped after the two leaveing three more platoons,

"Hidan and Kakuzu you can watch Onbu,"

"What the hell is a Onbu?" Hidan asked

_RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR_

"...I think I know what an Onbu is," Kakuzu mutters, the two run into the woods to investigate.

Pain watched after the direction they just ran, "...Itachi, Kisame, can you go give Hidan his sythe."

"Yeah, don't want him getting mauled by a Zetsu again," Kisame chuckled

"I hear they only strike when you punch them in the nose," Itachi finished smileing, the two also set off.

"Alright then, Pain, shall we go watch the rest of the animals." Konan asked.

"Okay," Konan then grabbed his hand, making him turn three shades of red (again)

"Pain? are you okay you look like you have a fever," She said putting her slim hand on his forehead.

"Nothingkonanhoney," He muttered quickly,

"What was that?"

"Nothingkonandarling,"

"Pain, you're talking too fast,"

"NOTHING KONAN!" He yelled, "...YOU TALK TOO MUCH," He said loudly as his voice broke. He walked off into the woods,

"...Alrighty then," She said to herself, she then ran after him. (and grabbed his hand again)

Later-

"Sasori No-Danna wait up!" Deidara whined again

"If you didn't spend so much damn time standing there like an idiot discribeing each bird maybe I wouldn't be so tempted to abandon you,"

"We're supposed to be examineing them! ngh!"

"Yeah, examineing them, NOT makeing a documentry." He growled, "Now hurry, I want to get back before grunted a reluctant agreement.

"DEIDARA-SEMPAI!"

"What Tobi?" He hissed

"What do you think Itachi and Kisame and Hidan and Kakuzu and Konan and Pain are doing?"

"I don't know Tobi," Deidara explained to Tobi like a tired mother with her child,

Later-

"KAKUZU YOU BASTARD THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Immortal number one yelled,

"How is this MY fault! your the one that has no experiance in anything but flinging a sythe around and stabbing yourself!" Imortal number two replied

Itachi and Kisame jumped out of the trees above to run alongside them "Forget something?" Itachi handed Hidan his sythe.

But then Kisame did handsigns and unleashed a giant vortex of pain.

"... I could've done that,"

"Sure you could," Itachi said to the immortal,

"Let us return to the camp site!" Kisame gleed proudly,

"Very well," The two happy partners left and Hidan and Kakuzu stood there, supposed to be watching animals,

"...I hate you,"

"Yeah yeah," Kakuzu groaned heading back into the woods to finish.

Later-

By the time everybody got back, most of the Akatsuki looked to be in shambles,

Pain had a icepack on his head because Konan was convinsed he was sick. And Pain's never-ending nosebleed didn't help. (which had occured after Konan slipped into a hotspring)

Deidara had apparently been beaten by Sasori somewhere along their travels, Tobi didn't seem to be talking, but Deidara mumbled something about chipmunks. But luckily this meant Sasori would be in a non-chalant mood tomarrow,

Itachi had no trouble, but Kisame's bleeding arm suggested that the animals were infact very much well.

Hidan and Kakuzu came back looking absolutely exausted, half from animal watching, half from their married-couple-like arguments that they had LOADS of,

Pain piped up sounding strange with the tissues in his nose, "I think it's safe to say we can all rest now,"

Everybody dragged themselfs to their tents without a word, but when Deidara turned back (possibly to plead for somebody to not let Sasori come in with him) "...Hidan," He said half-heartedly, "... what's that on your back?"

-**End Chapter**-

XD Ha ha...

nutin else to put...


	4. Baptised in the River

DISCLAIMER: Me and my sister own nothing

Next chapter... yaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn,

Plz forgive ME. QueenOfFanFicWorldLoveGunner, because I have NO IDEA how to spell Bathised. .

I love to play with it though, making little skits full of Silent Hill scenarios where Itachi goes badass- "You cleanse people with your flames, and today I will bathtise _you_."

Quo Uchiha glare, awesomness, and Deidara shivering in a corner. XD

Meanwhile- sissy cannot grasp the concept of badass Tachi'. Apparently.

-**Chapter four: Bathised in the River-**

"Morning everyone!" Itachi said cheerfully. The other members groaned pulling themselves out of their tents.

Pain cleared his throut to tell everyone todays agenda. "Hidan, Kakuzu Itachi and Kisame can return the Onbu to it's home. Jiraiya told me of them and they should reunite peacefully."

"Fine fine fine." Hidan moaned. Kakuzu shook his head at the partners stupidity before putting down his money stash to follow him.

Itachi and Kisame followed after them chattering about simple things. Pain continued, "Deidara Sasori and Tobi. You all can go back and look at the birds some more."

"YAY! BIRDS!"

"Shut up Tobi!" Deidara yelled at him for the upteenth time. "You'll scare them all away! hn,"

"OKAY! Tobi good boy." Tobi muttered. Deidara looked around realizing his other partner was already dissapering from view... again...

"What the hell Sasori? wait up!"

Pain smiled weakly. "Me and Konan can... just go look at cute, furry, safe animals." He rubbed his head. "Zetsu, you stay here and try not to scare Hidan again ok-" Turning around. He noticed that Konan had fallen back asleep leaning agenst their tent. Everyone else was gone. "-...Or maybe we could stay and keep watch," He said to himself.

Meanwhile-

"Goddammit Kakuzu why won't this little demon come off!"

"Oh Hidan, don't yell you might scare him," Itachi cooed.

"Shut the hell up Uchiha!" But just when he said that the Onbu started crieing and jumped off Hidan's back.

"Uhhh, it's gettin' away," Kisame said. Kakuzu stood behind him counting money...

"Who the hell cares? good riddins' I say!" Hidan yelled again.

"You know," Itachi started. "If we let a little baby Onbu escape and the mother goes rampant. Lady Tsunade will probably sue us."

"DAMMIT HIDAN GET OFF YOUR ASS AND GO AFTER THAT FLUFF BALL!" Kakuzu started running after it. Hidan groaned again but followed.

" 'Tachi, would the Hokage really sue us?" Kisame asked.

"No, but it got them moving didn't it?" Itachi smiled deviously.

"You sneaky weasel you." Kisame laughed

"Lets go help," Itachi said and the two went off after the immortals.

Meanwhile again-

"Sasori-no-Danna I said WAIT UP!"

"Speed up." He groaned.

"SHUT UP!"

Tobi hops over infront of Deidara. "Lookie! pretty birds!"

"Yeah yeah, pretty ." Deidara grumbled. He looked around, a large leaf was on a rock and next to the rock was a giant mud puddle. Deidara smiled and after a few moments caught up to Sasori. "Oh No-Danna." He called.

"What?"

"I have something for you," He cooed innocently

"Your untimely demise?" Deidara smiled again before pushing the leaf full of mud in his face.

Sasori slowly brought his hand up and wiped it off his face. Deidara took a few steps back before Sasori lunged and started chasing after him.

Tobi started following them thinking they were playing tag. All the way thinking aloud "I wonder if Konan and Zetsu and Pain are having as much fun?"

Meanwhile-

"Ahh-CHOO!"

"Uh, Konan? are you okay?"

"Yeah yeah, nothing to worry about." She shiffled

"If you say so," Pain muttered. He sat on a log-seat trieing to restart the fire.

"Hm, where is everyone?" Konan asked looking around.

"Doing what I told them to do." He looked up for a minute. "...For once."

"ACHOO!"

"Konan are you really okay?"

"Yesyesyesyes I'm fine don't worry about me." She tried to reassure with a plugged nose.

"Maybe you should at least take a nap or lie down?"

"No." She growled getting her regular voice back. "Lets just go look for cute furry little creatures and make sure they're not mutated or anything."

"Uhhh, I can do that you just stay here and rest."

Konan glared at him, "Oh, look, 'Tachi, he can do- oh they're all back," She said widening her eyes and looking over to the forest part that had the rest of the Akatsuki grumbleing over.

"Deidara, Sasori," Itachi asked after he got close enough to the artist. "Why are you covored in mud?"

"Cuz' Sasori-no-Danna pushed me into the river... After I shoved mud in his face. hnm."

"We were bonding." Sasori said sarcasticly wearing a sadistic grin.

"Tobi played in it too!" The century-old child gleed to his great-great-grandson of some sort. Itachi looked at him for a second, "...Tobi is a goodboy!"

Kisame looked at the group wearily. "...I'm going to bed. 'Tachi?"

"We shall," Itachi followed the tired blue man into their tent.

Sasori opted for staying in the woods so he could clean himself. Deidara took Tobi over to the river to clean themselves before going to bed.

Even though everyone had left earshot-slash-fallen asleep already. Pain still raised his arms half-heartedly. "Um, okay! everyone get a good nights sleep and we can do it all again tomarrow!" He then started wondering if every morning was just going to be following fluffy and dangerous animals. He went back into his and Konan's tent hating his life... more.

"Achoo!"

As I recall, and according to the authors note that was originally here- It took her forever to write this.

GAH! She makes Pain wimpy, Dei a whore, and Itachi effectively unbadass...

Forget I said that, she doesn't know I'm writting this XD

I hope she doesn't review the story after I post it.


	5. Crazy Mornings

DISCLAIMER: Me and my sister don't own Naruto or Akatsuki, or anything else used in here.

Since I forgot to mention last chapter, the Onbu's, which may be misspelled, are from a Naruto Filler episode. Pfffft, stupid filler.

-C**hapter Five: Crazy Mornings**-

"Good morning everybody!" Tobi yelled to everyone as they slowly came out of their tents to eat breakfast. (All but one)

"Ey, where's-?" Hidan was about to ask looking around. Then a rustleing in the bushes. Hidan jumped up onto Kakuzu. "OHMYJASHIN KUZU IT'S COME BACK FOR ME!"

_ROOOOAR!_

"I think that's where," Kisame pointed. Zetsu came out of the bushes looking proud.

"Sorry I seem to be making you so jumpy Hid,"

"Zetsuuuuuu," He growled. Kakuzu dropped him but he got back up and started chasing Zetsu.

"Ugh, idiot." Kakuzu growled. He pulled off his bandana and started re-counting the money once again.

"Uhhh, Kuzi?" Pain asked unsteadily.

"What?"

"... What happened to your hair?"

Deidara laughed alittle and handed a confused Kakuzu a mirror. He looked at himself and his dark brown hair had streaks of pink in it.

"... HIDAAAAAAAAAAAAN!" Hidan turned around remembering the little stunt he pulled whilst Kakuzu had been asleep.

Whilst this played out. Tobi had been playing in the mud. He jumped up to randomly hug Deidara... getting him covored of course. "I love you Deidara-Sempai!"

"Not again," He groaned, "Yea' yea' yea... LOVE... hng,"

"Oh come on brat, You look so sexy covored head to foot in guck and animal shit." Sasori said full of sarcasim and sadism.

"Oh- SHUT UP Orochimaru!" Deidara yelled at him.

"Well well, if it isn't another one of their couple fights?" Kisame cooed as Itachi laughed.

"They're so cute,"

"WHAT WAS THAT UCHIHA-BASTARD?"

"Oh Dei," Sasori said smirking. "You still like Tachi' more I see? I'm so heartbroken."

"Excuse me? I do NOT!"

"Well your awfully defensive about it." Deidara's face got red hot to the point of boiling.

"SHUT UP STUPID KEN-DOLL!"

"Love you' Barbie."

"EVERYBODY SHUT UP AND NO ONE GETS A PAPER CUT!" Konan yelled- followed by a cough and Pain hiding behind the tent. Everybody got quiet really fast and then sat down for breakfast.

Once all rage was gone Pain looked up. "Deidara what's that?"

Deidara turned around to the forest behind him "Looks likea' giant fireball." Deidara noted. "... OHMYGOD A GIANT FIREBALL!"

"Jashin!" Hidan corrected

After the fireball got into the clearing it turned into a ball of smoke and when that cleared Tobi cocked his head happily. "Happy April Fools Day Deidara-Sempai!" Deidara immidiantly jumped up and wacked him in the head.

"Tobi it's January!"

"Yes but Tobi forgot it in April so Tobi asked Sasori what to do and Sasori told Tobi to scare Sempai!" Tobi gleed in third-

person.

"That's because Sasori's an asshole Tobi. Ngh," Deidara moaned.

Sasori smirked in the background while Tobi simply commensed in hugging a exasperated Deidara.

-Later

"Ah-CHOO!" Konan sneezed again,

"Konan, you're getting a cold." Pain said for about the fifth time.

"Prove it." Konan glared. Pain held up some food and she cringed at it.

"Then eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"Yes you are. You didn't eat breakfast."

"I'm on a diet."

"You've never been on a diet in your life Konan."

"How do you know?"

"We spent our childhood with Jiraiya. Like we'd deny all the junkfood he through at us."

"I'm telling you I'm fine."

"What if it's something bad?"

"Stop mothering me."

"Please keep my gender in tact."

"Stop fathering me."

"No,"

"Pssstf" She stuck out her toung

"Tell you what. If you don't have a fever I'll leave you alone."

"How're you gonna take my temp in the bloody woods?"

Pain leaned over and put his lips on her forehead. Konan blushed a little more then she'd already had been and when he pulled back she looked defeated and glared at him. "You're burning up." Konan stuck out her tounge while all the guys watching in the background started laughing. "Go get some rest and no one gets a paper cut."

-Later

After Konan went into her tent to pout and sneeze. Pain decided it was time to give everyone their dose of lecturing today.

"Itachi and Kisame, you two can go check the snakes." He said pointing to a random direction. "Tobi, Deidara and Sasori can see to the fish while Hidan and Kakuzu check the water- and get some." He continued on again. "Zetsu can get food while I'll stay here and watch Konan."

"So you can screw her senseless?"

"SHUT UP HIDAN!" Pain yelled and then Kakuzu wacked Hidan in the head and said the same thing. "What the hell was that for?"

"Let's just go." Kakuzu and Hidan left along with Zetsu, Itachi and Kisame.

After Pain went into his and Konan's tent This left just the two artists and Tobi.

"I love you Deidara-Sempai-I love you Deidara-Sempai-I love you Deidara-Sempai-" Tobi jumped up and down.

"Yea' yea. Hn, love and butterflys."

"Good god Tobi. If you love Deidara so much just marry him and have a honeymoon far away from me." Sasori grumbled walking away.

"That's a wonderful idea!" Tobi grabbed Deidara, "I now pro-now-see-ate" He pronounced wrong. "Me Seme and you Uke!" Tobi kissed Deidara on the cheek and Deidara blushed again.

"SASORI LOOK WHAT YOU DID HNG!" Deidara started chasing after Sasori while Tobi followed after. Somehow having picked up a basket with flowers as he threw them around singing.

"Skippidy, skippidy, skippidy, skip."

I actually turned around in my chair while I was editing it and screamed "HOW MUCH YAOI ARE YOU PUTTING IN THIS?" (At the part with Dei blushing. Wha, and I'm a SasoDei fan.)

"Alot" She replied.

"This story is friggin' chock-fullof friggin' Shonen-Ai and Ukes,"

I mean really. Uke-Hidan freaks me out... What kind of yaoi-monster have I created? I knew I shouldn't of showed her those SasuNaru Doujins . Or were they NaruSasu? I like Naru-Uke but I think the creator of the site was a Sasu-Uke fan...

ANYWAY.

I wrote Pain and Konan's argument in order to make it less awkward. I mean- WTF?

LIKE I SAID. Whoring out Deidara.

And POOR, POOR, UNFORTUNATE HIDAN.

Gawd, all I do in _my_ fanfics is make him loudmouthed, clingy, and addicted to sleepy-pills. XD.


	6. Comedy, Nurses and Red Strings

Disclaimer I do not own naruto or its characters or its elements.

XD PFFFFT.

ANYWAY.

Hng... this chapter appers short, but I haven't measured it... Hng...

Last chappy sissy-poo has put up, since I have stuff in the last authors note I'll explain crap now.

DragonSummoner888 WILL NOT update this story for AT LEAST a long while. She's writting other stories right now. Stories about chinese kids ducking up or something like that Disney made.

If you actually liked the story, well- say so. You might actually be replied to by both her and me. Since I'll be nosing around her review panel and harrassing YOU.

And again, no heartless flames. Constructive crit I myself will actually hope for- but she might take it that wrong way and throw a tantrum... She's like that sometimes... When we were playing James Bond she called me a heartless brat because I didn't want to be on the same team as her.

(Is ignoring the possiblity of DragonSummoner ever reading this)

-**Chapter Six: Comedy, Nurses and Red Strings**-

"I got cash on Leader screwin' Konan right now"

"Shut up Hidan," Kakuzu said yet again while counting money. Right after that was when Hidan ran straight into Deidara.

"Saso-Na-Danna I see stars," Deidara said dizzily.

"Get me a autograph" Sasori said lazily. Not paying attention.

Tobi splashed around in the water while Hidan was coming to. "Kuzu? You screwin' my sythe over there?" He mumbled.

"Yes Hidan, I make love to your sythe nightly. We're going steady."

"Ew-really?"

"...Yes,"

"Sempai?" Tobi asked, the logical part of his brain kicking in. "Why'd Pain send us all to the same area?"

"So he could SCREW HER!" Hidan said again.

-Meanwhile

"Hey 'Tachi? What ya' think Leader and Konan're doing?"

"She's asleep and Pain is next to her thinking of her and imagining kissing her and loving her and getting married to her and having children with her and retiring from villiany with her."

"... Yeah, he'd like that."

-Later

Finally everyone got back to the campsite. Zetsu had managed to get a decent number of fish despite Tobi scaring them all. So they ate that while chatting and conversateing.

One of the topics were actually Tobi and Deidara's honeymoon. "And the rooms can be full of flowers and pretty people and we can have Yogi Bear as the ring bear and you can wear a white dress that Sasori designs and we can go to the Bahamas! yay"

"... Shut it Tobi,"

"Shut what?"

"...Nevermind Tobi."

"Ah-ha! I new you loved him! Kuzu gimme five!" Hidan yelled holding his hand out, "... Dollars..." They continued to sit there awhile, "... Twenty?"

"...Hidan, shut up before I go all-out terrorist on you, ngh," Deidara growled.

"And I'm not paying up untill they actuallly legally say 'I do'and sign the certificate... Infront of someone NOT wearing a Elvis outfit."

"Oh shut up you're just mad cuz' I'm not letting you screw Tabitha anymore."

"Who?"

"My sythe."

Everyone was quiet untill Itachi and Kisame said their Good-nights.

"Come on Deidara-Sempai let's go to bed now too!"

"Ungh."

-Meanwhile

Pain heard everyone go to their tents and turned to Konan, "Come on Konan, you should sit outside you're still burning up."

Konan was half-asleep so she stuck her hand out to him to take her without complain. He practically carried her out and sat by the dying fire. "Thankyou Yah-" She stopped herself with a forced yawn. "...Pain," She kissed him on the cheek before nuzzleing back into his shoulder.

He stared down at her hard with a sharp pang in his heart. In no time she was snoring quietly.

He reached his hand down to the red hoodie shirt he was wearing and tugged off a red string. He tied it to their pinkys and held her hand.

"I love you," He leaned down and pecked the corner of her lips and holding her close. "Always have, always will. Even when I... Me," He rested his head on top of hers, "And everyone else is dead and gone with nothing but lingering souls... You'll always be my only angel." Right before he fell asleep he said the last set of words he'd never be able to tell her when she was awake. "You're our true love Konan, and the red string proves it."

I told my sister about the Red String thing- I'd first heard it in my Case Closed/Detective Conan days.

In Japan there's a folk tale that people who are soul mates and ment to be together are forever connected by a red string on their fingers.

Also, I shoved it in like with my OWN stories that Pain's the soul of Yahiko and Nagato fused together and made one... Pain.

And other fancy crap like that.

Ironicly, the next chapter was supposed to be when we remembered Hidan wasn't swearing enough... F&$% it...


End file.
